Parkingspotosis

Does anyone know if there's such thing as an illness that makes you chronically forget where you parked your vehicle in a parking lot? Cause if there is-- I have it.

Seriously, I don't think I could tally up the minutes of my life that I've wasted wandering aimlessly around a crowded parking lot, wishing for the hundredth time that I had automatic car locks, so I could just push a button on my keys and listen for that "Beep beep!" My car is bright blue too, so one would think that would help me spot it, but when you're like me and always somehow end up three or four rows away from where you actually parked, color doesn't matter in the slightest.
I'm pretty sure that the actual act of forgetting happens immediately when I walk through the doors of whatever grocery store, or restaurant, or establishment that I happen to be at. By then I'm too preoccupied with my errand to realize it. The worst part is that "Oh no" feeling that you get the second you exit the building and that giant blacktop tundra spreads out before your eyes. Your breathing increases and your palms become a little sweaty, making the plastic bags in your grip slip a little. You squint your eyes and take two steps to the left...but then change your mind and take two steps to the right, but then you just stop again in your tracks.
You know the people exiting the store behind you are snickering and whispering to each other "I bet she can't remember where she parked," so you decide to just pick a row and search, hoping that a car, ANY CAR, will trigger your memory. Your gaze falls upon another lost soul wandering around the parking lot, but the fact that she is always a white-haired old woman makes you feel really stupid. Finally, though, just when you're CONVINCED that someone has stolen your car while you were inside buying orange juice and batteries, there it is: your car, your precious car, sitting of course, three or four rows away. Thank goodness you are like me and are really self-conscious about your parking skills, so you park way in the back of the lot, or you could have been searching for hours.
Discovery Channel should make a show about an Australian guy who hunts down cars for people in crowded parking lots. Kind of like a mix between Parking Wars and Dog the Bounty Hunter. Any suggestions as to what they should call it?

MWARH! Precipitation!

Who's brilliant idea was it to make ice clear? Huh? Who said, "Hey guys! I know ice is hazardous and everything, but wouldn't it just be HILARIOUS if we made it invisible to the human eye!?" I mean, it's not even the falling on your butt part that makes it annoying. Sure it hurts, but only for a minute. What really bothers me is how incredibly stupid you look when you realize you've lost all traction and you're about to plunge to your doom. Your face kind of contorts and your arms start flailing around as if you're having some sort of fit. It's so humbling, in fact, that when it happens in front of a group of people I actually hope that I hit the ground hard because then people will be too busy worrying about my health to laugh at me! If you catch your balance after slipping your only option is to face that two seconds of silence before people bust out laughing at your funny face and silly movements. If anyone has any information regarding the person who made ice all the more treacherous, I would appreciate it if you would come forward as soon as possible. Thank you.
I really need to put gas in my car. Like, desperately. I'm avoiding it though because there's quite a bit of STUPID SNOW AND ICE on my car and it takes forever to warm up. MWARH! Again with the darn precipitation! Oh, that reminds me of my recent puddle incident! Walking home from Serendipity (of course) I quite acrobatically (or so I thought) tried to avoid a drift of snow by stepping instead on WHAT I THOUGHT was a dry spot. Fail. It was a puddle of newly melted ice and snow and because water is also I clear I did not realize this until my foot was completely immersed in freezing cold water and my sock was soaked through. Basically the rest of my walk consisted of "step, squish, step, squish, step, squish." My life is average. And my foot was cold.

Oh, snap! First blog entry!

Well, here it goes...my first blog entry. It took me a while to figure out what to write. I mean, this is kind of a monumental moment. But then I realized that in reality, no one is ACTUALLY going to read this, so it doesn't really matter what I write about. I could write about the ice and snow that is rapidly melting on the sidewalks of Westerville, OH if I really wanted to. Of course, I don't really want to write about that...I don't really WANT to write about anything, actually. I just...kind of need to. Write, that is. I don't know why, maybe it's kind of like the need to write in a diary or journal, or go to a therapist and talk about your day, it's just kind of an unexplainable need.
Not that anything particularly exciting happens on a day-to-day basis in my life. In fact, right now I'm just sitting in a coffee shop sipping on a caramel latte. I KNOW, I need to calm down, right? I need to stop my shenanigans because I'm getting a little out of hand. Seriously though, this is a really sweet coffee shop. It's called Serendipity and it's in UpTown Westerville in the middle of Otterbein College's campus. It's only a short walk from my dorm and they serve great coffee and sandwiches and even ice cream, which is like my favorite thing ever, so naturally I love this place. The tabletops are made of blank CDs and there's a suit of armor in the corner wearing a Flavor-Flav-esque hat and an apron. The fact that I don't find that strange says everything about my personality.
My favorite part about Serendipity, though, is when they collaborate with Otterbein to host Open Mic nights. There's some pretty talented people in this area and to be honest walking down here late at night and listening to some live music while drinking a coffee is way more fun to me than going to some fraternity house and getting wasted. I just don't find any appeal in alcohol. I mean, why do people enjoy losing all control of themselves? I'd rather remember the fun I had the night before, thank you very much. Oh well, maybe my perspective will change when I turn 21 and can actually go to bars and such...I doubt it though. I'll probably still be frequenting places like Serendipity. After all, bars don't have ice cream :)