Things that make me want to punch babies.

I'm not in the best mood right now, so naturally all I can think about are things that drive me crazy. So, I made a list:

(This is in no particular order.)

1. When your phone randomly decides not to vibrate and you miss a call.
The point of "vibrate mode" on a cell phone is to alert you to calls, or texts, or alarms, etc. without the total disruption that ringtones cause. If I wanted complete silence I would put my phone on "silent." Enough with the shenanigans, phone.

2. Cars that are so tiny, they cause the illusion that there is in fact an empty parking spot across the lot, so you race fours rows down only to be disappointed by the mini vehicle that was hiding between the Ford Explorer and the Mustang.
Oh, and that ONE remaining spot that you passed up in the back? Yeah, someone just took it.

3. While I'm on the subject of cars, let's talk about cars that, from a distance, resemble a police car.
You're driving down the highway...erm, speeding down the highway... and suddenly in your rear view mirror you see a cop coming up behind you. Or wait. "Is it a cop? Or just a car with a bike rack? Should I slow down? Maybe I should slow down. Maybe I should slide over into the far right lane until the cop passes me." Nope. Not a cop. And now you're stuck behind Driving Miss Daisy in the far right lane until all the people that are going a reasonable speed pass you by.

4. Allergies.
If I have to explain to you why allergies bother me, then you make me want to punch babies as well.

5. People who say, "I'm going to THE Olive Garden for dinner."
This is a chain restaurant, people. Not a fancy dining establishment. Oh, and there is no such thing as Santa Clause either.

6. When you just want one paperclip, but somehow they are ALL tangled together.
Who is doing this to the paperclips of the world???? It's like when you lay your headphones on your desk and then go to use them again and magically they are in a giant, military-grade knot. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

7. Being left-handed.
Let's set aside the fact that I have to buy special scissors and when I stuff envelopes at work I have to do everything backwards. What ticks me off the most is the dreaded smearing of any pen, pencil, or marker that happens as the side of my hand drags across the paper. Ink stains on the side of the hand is sooo attractive let me tell ya.

8. Waking up mere minutes before my alarm goes off.
Anything inside of the 5 minute range just irks me to no end. That's 5 extra minutes of sleep I could have enjoyed!!

9. When the bottoms of pants get stuck inside the tongues of shoes.
I've stopped random strangers before to ask them to fix their pant legs. I'm not kidding. And just so you know, if you are guilty of doing this, especially with some Timberlands on, it does not give you "swagga." It merely stamps "douchebag" on your forehead.

10. SUPER SLOW INTERNET.
I pay an exorbitant amount of money to attend this school, so dammit I expect my YouTube and Hulu videos to buffer at a speed that is reasonable!! If I have time to run to the library and print something out as a page is loading, then something is seriously wrong.

***Note: Of course, I would never ACTUALLY strike an infant. It's just an expression people. Don't freak out.